Taiwan

December 7, 2024 - February 8, 2025

The story of a breakup of a 4 month travel romance, one that ends happily and for the best, and allowed me the time and space to come back to myself again

Taiwan is a bit of a funny story. I think it’s a story of just how life never works out the way you think it will, and a reminder to embrace every twist and turn you’re given.

I came to Taiwan in December 2024 with Max, a guy I had met while traveling in Indonesia, and had been traveling together with for 4 months. We came excitedly, me excited to show him the country I was from (well kind of - I’m Taiwanese but born and raised in America), and him excited to see a new place and to be shown around by a semi-local. We had spent the last 3 months in Indonesia together and while we absolutely loved our time there, we had a hard time truly getting to know locals, and generally just knowing what in the world was going on sometimes due to the language barrier. We were excited to finally be somewhere where I could speak the language and could kind of explain what was going, while at the same time somewhere that was foreign, local (very few tourists), and different from what either of us had ever seen before.

I came first on my own to visit relatives for a week in Taipei, and then he flew in afterwards. As soon as he arrived though, we started having struggles. There was a part of him that felt like he needed to stop traveling and instead settle down a bit and fully focus on the things he wanted to work on (he started a Youtube channel while traveling and wanted to take it seriously). But, he still wanted to see Taiwan with me as planned, and so he tried to make it work. We said we’d do Taiwan together for about a month - traveling slowly, getting a real feel for the place, while also giving ourselves time to work on our own things.

A couple weeks in though, his internal turmoil about not doing the right thing for himself got greater and greater, and eventually he decided he needed to listen to what was calling to him deep down, and leave and do his own thing. He really tried, and I credit him a lot for that. It was an extremely caring relationship and breakup, like two best friends that cared a lot about each other and just wanted the best for one another. He needed to go, and I needed to let him go.

Though we decided that parting ways was for the best, we still wanted to spend the holidays together. We spent Christmas and New Years together, and had the most wonderful time. It had been a while since I spent the holidays with someone I loved, and they were memories that I really cherish, smile about, and remember.

We spent New Years in Taitung County and had the most lovely few days exploring, taking it slow, and just spending quality time together. We spent a few days in the countryside town of Luye where we went for bike rides and walks around the countryside, and appreciated the peace and quiet of nature there. We splurged on an amazing hot spring hotel room and enjoyed our own little party just blasting music, drinking wine, eating snacks, and talking about all things life while soaking in our private hot spring bathtub. Then, we went back to Taitung City for New Years Eve, where we had such a lovely time ringing in the new year together at their city-wide festival. A little celebration of us. He even won me a little stuffed animal turtle at a shooting game there, which is now my sleeping companion that’s given me a lot of comfort since he left.

Our cute little glamping site south of Dulan

After New Year, we then moved up the coast to an area near Dulan to spend our last couple days together by the ocean. We had our own little glamping area overlooking the ocean where we made a fire every night and snuggled cozily in our tiny little cement pipe home. It was really a perfect ending. We said goodbye at the Taitung train station, a goodbye that honestly felt weirdly not like a goodbye. We had ended on such a nice, normal note, that it really didn’t feel like we might not ever see each other again. We hugged goodbye almost feeling like it could’ve been any other day. And then we left.

I took the train back to Dulan, where I’d planned to stay for the next few days, and I honestly was feeling okay at that point. It felt like he really needed to leave, and I felt at peace about letting him leave. He had been so stressed the last couple weeks together and the stress had been seriously leaking into our relationship, that I felt oddly at peace at being able to be on my own now. I think perhaps we both just needed our space.

Dulan, a place I loved dearly and that meant so much to me at that time

I came back to Dulan intending to only stay for a few days while I figured out my next move, but it ended up being such a perfect place for me and just what I needed at the time, that I ended up staying for 3 weeks! My first few days there, I really just wanted a place where I could find peace. Somewhere to be alone with my thoughts, where I could truly process everything that was going on, not only with the breakup, but also with figuring out what it was that I wanted to be doing with my life in the near-medium future. I was running out of money soon and wouldn’t be able to continue only traveling much longer, and I needed to figure out how I wanted to go about finding income again. Did I want to return back to the States and find a regular job again, or did I want to stay abroad and do part-time contracting roles to keep myself afloat for the time being? There was a lot to think about, and it turned out that Dulan was the perfect place to begin figuring it out.

Dulan is a little town that I fell in love with. It’s on the coast of Taitung County, and sits right in between huge, breathtaking mountains, and a beautiful coastline. It’s a perfect little mountain beach town, and anyone that knows me, knows how much of a sucker I am for these kinds of small towns. I loved how beautiful and unique the nature was. I would feel in awe every time I walked outside, and still felt the same way everyday even 3 weeks later. I loved how much peace I felt there. And being such a small town, there were few distractions. I could enjoy my own daily strolls to the beach, enjoy the simplicity of the small town, and enjoy getting to know people one by one around town, as it’s so small that you’d repeatedly run into everyone!

I loved the hostel I was staying at (Dulan Star Guesthouse), and after I had decided that I’d stay there longer, the manager ended up asking if I just wanted to volunteer there! I decided, why the hell not, I’d give it a shot! I still very much wanted my main focus to be processing my emotions and getting my life together, but I figured this could be a good way to fund my stay and not stress about money for the time being. As a volunteer, I’d work 3-4 hours a day, 5 days a week, and had my own little private room. It turned out, that volunteering gave me the perfect amount of structure, purpose, and routine in my day, while still affording me enough time and energy to work on my own things.

I ended up loving it so much that I actually stayed another week. The hostel was a perfect environment for me. So peaceful, so nice, so beautiful and just pleasant to be in. I was able to get into a healthy routine of exercising and cooking everyday, something actually really tough to do while traveling! And Lynn (the manager), the other staff, and the guests, we all had such a nice vibe together, that the place really felt like home. I also started making more friends around town, and I really enjoyed being able to pass by to say hello everyday and just run into them on the streets. It was a perfect small town vibe that I loved.

When I finally left after 3 weeks, I honestly didn’t feel ready to leave and wished I could’ve stay longer. But alas I had to go back to Taipei to meet my family for Chinese New Year, especially my dad who was flying out here from the States just to celebrate!

I feel so grateful for Dulan, for finding this place here. It was just what I needed, the perfect little haven that gave me the necessary peace and tranquility while I sorted out my life. It became a home and a routine that I never expected to find here. Thank you so much Dulan and Dulan Star Guesthouse. You gave me so much in this time that I really needed it. So much love <3.

Collection of a love story that ended in Taiwan

And Dulan <3

The story of how I visited Taiwan for the first time as an adult, and how I unexpectedly reconnected with my roots and discovered so much beauty in the culture there

I’m Taiwanese-American. My parents moved to the States when they were 30, and I was born and raised in the States. I had only been back to Taiwan once when I was 13 and it was only because my parents somewhat shipped me off here for a summer. My memories of Taiwan and impression of Asian culture in general weren’t the best. I remember being 13 and stuck on the mountain where my grandparents lived, with no internet, no TV, no friends, nothing really. Just me and my books and helping my grandparents garden. While that simplicity of life sounds like something I’d love now, it was not the happiest of times for my 13 year old self.

I grew up in a town called Cupertino, California, a town full of Asian and Indian immigrant parents and second-generation kids, like myself. And so I had been surrounded by Asian culture growing up. Not only in my own household, but within my community as well. And to be quite honest, I really didn’t like this culture. I felt that Asians placed way too much emphasis on academics, career, climbing the ladder, and making money, and didn’t appreciate the balance of other things in life. Of course some of these things were important, but so were things like hobbies, and pursuing things that you love and that make you happy. It was too much of a narrow, tunnel vision mentality without appreciating other ways of pursuing life, and I really didn’t like this.

Another thing in Asian culture I didn’t love, was that everybody was so angry all the time, yet nobody ever wants to or can talk about their feelings. It’s simply not accepted. And I think it’s largely in part because feelings aren’t talked about, that everyone harbors so much anger underneath. Marriages are unhappy, families are dysfunctional, and yet it all goes on, perpetuated by the culture. These things made me not a fan of Asian culture, and thus never really too interested in visiting Asia.

And so how did I finally make it over here at 29 years old, for the first time since I was forcefully brought here as a 13 year old? Well I had been backpacking around the world, and currently in Southeast Asia, and figured it was high time I actually paid a visit back there to connect with my roots and and see all my relatives again. Now that I was actually in this part of the world, there was no excuse anymore to not make my way back!

And how was it? Honestly, Taiwan absolutely blew me away and was an experience I really didn’t expect to have, all in the best way possible. Not only did I love every single place I visited, I especially loved the culture of Taiwanese people. They were so, so, so kind, friendly, and helpful, and there was this strong innate sense of community and looking out for one another. Plus, they were just really cool people! There’s few other cultures that I think are so cool and so good, and I felt so proud to be able to call myself Taiwanese then.

The culture there really surprised me. Yes, all of the things I felt about it growing up were still true. They still cared a lot (too much) about academics and career, and still had a culture of suppressing their emotions. But, in the way the people were and how the community was, it was really beautiful. I’ve traveled a lot, and I think it might be one of the most genuinely kind and friendly culture of people I’ve ever experienced. You can ask anyone anywhere for anything, and they will be happy to help you. For example, I walked into a clothing store on one of my first days looking for a beanie, and after seeing that everything in there was too expensive, I asked where I could find a cheap one. I knew it was kind of an odd ask, walking into a store and asking where I could find cheaper versions of their things, but I had a feeling that in Taiwan they wouldn’t mind. And I was right! The guy walked me outside and happily explained directions to the nearest market where I’d be able to find what I was looking for. This was just the first and simplest example, but there were so many moments of simple kindness and pure helpfulness there. In Taiwanese culture, one thing I love most is how people just try and help each other out, simply just to help each other out. No ulterior motives, not to keep score, not expecting a favor back, but just to be kind. And this was really evident everywhere I went. Everyone was so helpful, in a pure way, just out of their heart. I’d rarely experienced this before.

In Taipei in the north, I felt people were a bit more stereotypically Asian. More straightedge, more city-like. But in the south, I felt more amongst my kind of people - the chiller and slower paced life kind of people. Especially in Dulan, a place that I really, really loved, I felt like I met the most like-minded people to myself there. Dulan is a place in Taiwan for more alternative people. People that crave a different lifestyle than the typical Asian one you find in Taiwan. People looking to pursue different dreams and make a different kind of life for themselves. I think it attracts people with a broader way of thinking, people with more curiosity and openness to the world, people more like myself. I was especially grateful for the people I met in Dulan, both the Taiwanese and the other foreigners.

In fact, Dulan was a special experience for me. Being an English speaker and American, I’m almost never the bilingual one in the room. When I travel, there are never any other Chinese-speakers around, and if there were, I would still probably be speaking English with them. And so being in Dulan was special to me because I was finally the bilingual one there. The one that could have connections with both locals and travelers alike because I could finally speak the language of both. It was literally the first time in life I experienced that, and I thought it was really, really beautiful. Meeting locals and ingraining into the local culture is one of the things I look for most when I travel, and in Taiwan, it was essentially this, and even to the next level. I could not only connect with them, but I kind of actually was one of them. I think there’s some automatic acceptance and ability to relate in that, and it was beautiful to get to experience. And at the same time, I was still able to enjoy being able to make connections with other travelers. It was a best of both worlds.

I’ve talked a lot about the culture and the people, but also importantly, is that I loved the places. Taiwan is a seriously stunning country. It’s the most mountainous island in the world, and you can really feel that when you’re there. The east coast is lined with beautiful scenery, from the mountains, to the countryside, to the coast. And the west coast, while lined with cities, still has some beautiful countryside and cities that even give you beach access. I loved how diverse everywhere was. From bustling, big cities like Taipei, to bustling, small cities like Tainan, to chiller, more laidback cities like Kaohsiung, to the coastal, slower cities of the east coast like Taitung and Hualien. Every place really had its own feel, and I truly enjoyed every single place I visited. Not something I can say for most countries I’ve been to!

I also wandered off the beaten path a little bit to smaller towns within the countryside and coast, and these were equally, or even more, special places for me to visit. My favorite was Taitung County - a region of Taiwan filled with expansive nature. I stayed in a town called Luye and went to a slow food festival in Chishang, two small towns nestled in the countryside of this county. Both were absolutely beautiful, and I loved them a lot. I speak a lot about Dulan, and Dulan itself is a small, tucked away, off the beaten path town nestled between the mountains and the coast. I really think it’s the best hidden gem of Asia. And lastly, I visited Meishan, a small countryside town in Chiayi County. It was my last week in Taiwan and I was looking for a place where I could find peace by myself in a small town surrounded by nature. Somewhere I could reflect and process this whole time in Taiwan. And, it turned out to be exactly perfect for what I was looking for. It was a perfect size small town - small, but not tiny, and still had easy access to all convenient things like restaurants and shops, while being surrounded by mountains in such peaceful nature.

There aren’t that many places where everywhere I went I loved, and Taiwan is one of them. I expected to only spend 1 month in Taiwan but in the end I spent 2, and I feel so, so grateful for the time that I spent there. I feel grateful that it allowed me to expand my mind about Taiwanese culture and people, and appreciate as an adult, the beauty of it all there. I came expecting to visit my relatives and travel slowly around the country with my now ex, and instead I found so much more than that. I found so much beauty in the places and the people, that I wanted to keep staying longer to soak it all in. I reconnected with my relatives after not seeing most of them for 16 years, and found that though so much time had passed, that nothing had really changed! My personality and their personalities were still all the same. It was somehow just like old times. It was a beautiful experience.

Thank you so much Taiwan, for these new experiences and perspectives you’ve given me. I feel blessed to have gotten to experience this.