2024: life from a year on the road
2024
2024 was a year of intensely rich experiences. I spent the year traveling the world with no plans, no one, and nothing on me besides a backpack. It wasn’t what I planned when I set out with a one-way plane ticket to El Salvador on November 30, 2023. Then, I thought I was going to spend a month learning Spanish in Guatemala and a month volunteering at a surf camp in Costa Rica, then I’d return home. Instead, a couple months in Latin America turned into 7 months, and 7 months in Latin America turned into continuing the journey with a one-way ticket to Asia for 4 months, and another 4 months in Asia turned into what’s now 5 months and counting in Asia, as I write this on January 9, 2025. A couple month funemployment break unexpectedly turned into over a whole year on the road, and here I am writing about my reflections and still processing this extremely memory filled year on the road.
Guatemala, December 2023 - April 2024
Instead of what I thought would be just one month in Guatemala attending Spanish school, I ended up stuck in Guatemala for 4 months, having had experiences that make for some of the fondest memories of my life, being in a relationship that was so toxic, yet with someone I had such deep feelings for, and just going wherever the wind blew me. The wind blew me to attend a 10 day silent meditation retreat, something I had never thought about doing before but something that was so profound and so beautiful, and gave me learnings that I still actively take with me to this day. It blew me to volunteering at a hostel that I realized wasn’t giving me joy nor fulfillment, and made me question what I was doing wasting precious time abroad there. It gave me the opportunity to stop and realize that it wasn’t right for me, and the courage to leave and pursue what was. I left what was supposed to be a 6 week volunteering stint after only 3 weeks, and learned to not be afraid of disappointing people, or pivoting, in search of pursuing what was right for me. I’ve never been good at being selfish, or putting my own needs in front of others, and it was a good exercise for myself in doing this.
I ended up going back to a beach town I had spent a week in before and loved, and it was here that I got to experience what felt right to me again. I feel so grateful for that perspective in knowing myself, and for the freedom to be able to just go and do whatever felt right to me at the time. It’s really such a fortune to have the time and opportunity to do what you truly want. So many times in life, we either know what we want or when something doesn’t feel right, but the constraints of typical life and society prevent us from being able to pursue it. To have the time and freedom to truly be able to do anything, with nothing tying you down and no real responsibilities to worry about, is one of the biggest gifts in life.
Once I got back to the beach town that I loved, I volunteered at a hostel there for what turned into 2 months, and it was here that I had some of the best experiences of my life. Some experiences that were indescribably rich, mainly in good ways, but also in some bad. Such good friends were made, such rich memories, such adventures and shenanigans and emotions. Sometimes I look back at pictures of this time and it almost doesn’t feel like real life that it happened. That it happened and that it’s no longer, but simply just lives as a memory. Sometimes some memories are so intense that they are hard to remember.
I loved this time mainly because of the people, and the special and rare time we were all sharing. How likely is it that a group of 7 people can really come together so randomly from all around the world, doing all different sorts of things, and have such a good bond, share such a special time together, doing something so rare that people do. The memories, experiences, and connections we shared during that time, I think will forever be a truly special time in my heart. In so many moments I found myself looking around, just trying to remember exactly that moment, being so present and soaking everything in, because I knew what a special time that would be and how I just wanted to remember it.
In this time, I also experienced a love that was so toxic. A love that was so bad for me, yet felt so deep and taught me so much. If I’ll be honest, it’s a love that I feel like I still haven’t fully processed to this day, 8 months later. It was with a guy who manipulated my love. Who enjoyed and needed my love and care, but who somehow knew it would still be there, even if he treated me like shit. It was the first time in my life I experienced gaslighting, and I finally felt like I knew what that meant. It was a time where I knew I was in a toxic situation, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave. It was the deep feelings I had, the brightness I saw in him, and the opportunistic hope I had for him to be better. I saw a beautiful soul deep down inside of him, saw the beautiful and kind person that he was, that just had a lot of shit buried on top of it. And I so badly wanted to get that beautiful part out of him, and help him be who I knew he could be, and see the light that was also there, next to the darkness.
But I realized this whole experience was maybe more of a reflection of myself, and who I wanted to be as a person, than it was on him and who he could be. It was from this that I learned I somehow had some sort of savior complex. I wanted to help people when no one else would. I saw the beauty and the potential when everyone else turned their face. And I so badly wanted to “save” him. It was me who had the problem. That for some reason, I kept holding on and kept wanting to see him change. But for what reason? I don’t know. Why didn’t I just leave when all the signs were obviously pointing that he was so bad for me? I don’t know. But from this, I learned a lot about myself and how I maybe have an unhealthy desire to help people, maybe trying to “fix” people a little too much. I think since I had always been a bit broken deep down, even though I never appear it to people, I naturally notice when people are also a bit broken deep down, and I feel connected to it and like I want to help it. But this behavior isn’t healthy. It wasn’t good for me and not only did it teach me to see people and relationships for how they are rather than how they could be, it also taught me that I should work on not having this complex. To lend a helping hand from a healthy distance, but to really reflect on why I feel this way and work on it to be a more healthy amount for my own sake.
Peru, April - May, 2024
Fast forward to Peru. After 4 months in Guatemala, I left to Peru. I met a friend while working at the first hostel in Guatemala that would be going to Peru and asked if I wanted to join. I said why the hell not. I love backpacking (true backpacking in the wilderness) and it was great to be able to do that with somebody who also shared the same rare love. And if I’ll be honest, I knew it was time for me to leave behind Guatemala and all the influences of El Paredon, the beach town that I worked in, but I just had no other particular reason to leave. And so I thought it was as good a reason as any to go somewhere, and so I was happy to go.
It was in Peru that I did a ton of trekking. I used to be a huge nature lover, spending so much time in nature alone and having it give me so much solace. But it had been a while since I’d really spent that much time in nature and been able to appreciate it like so. And so Peru gave me the gift of this again. The gift of love and solitude in nature. I did the 4 day Santa Cruz trek with my friend, after which I spontaneously signed up for another 8 day trek. Everyone including myself thought I was crazy. People usually pick one of the two treks to do, not usually do one and then another. And me, I had absolutely no intention of doing the 8 day trek when I went into it. But they had said it was one of the top 3 treks in the world and so I said fuck it, I’m already here, I might as well do it even if I’m scared that it will kick my ass.
And, I’m so so so grateful I did. Because it showed me, yet again, that I really can do anything. I was so scared and so nervous signing up for that trek having just struggled so much on only a 4 day trek. But I did it, and it was easier than I thought and amazing and such a good experience, and I’m so glad I did it. I’m glad not only because it was one of the highlights of the entire year in terms of experiences, but also because it was an example of just saying you’re going to do something and seeing that you really can do anything. The Huayhuash trek itself was also so beautiful and amazing. I’m grateful to have gotten to see something like that in my life and to have experienced that. 8 day trekking is no joke, and it was absolutely beautiful to be able to do it here. I would highly recommend it to anybody thinking about it.
After trekking in Peru, I met my friends from working at the second hostel in Guatemala, in Cusco! I remember being so stoked to see them there, that we had such a good friend group and would be able to be reunited in Peru. And while I was so happy to see them and we did have a number of good experiences together, it was honestly overall not the time that I think any of us really had in mind. We somehow never really found our groove in Peru. In Cusco, we were not on the same page about how to spend the time. I wanted to take it slow, Shirley wanted to take it fast, Janick wanted to be with the girl he had just met, and Tom Tom was in the middle, chill with it all. Still, we did the Machu Picchu trek together, and while that was also an experience with mixed memories, it was something that was really nice to be able to experience altogether. I really enjoyed getting to trek, as usual, and getting to see Machu Picchu, something that was never really high on my list before
After some time in Cusco, we all split up for a bit before coming back together a week later in Huanchaco, on the coast of Peru. Tom Tom and I went to the Amazon for 4 days, and I recall that as a really good memory. I appreciated Tom Tom’s company and friendship so much. He was just such a happy-go-lucky, easy-going guy, always happy to do whatever, and a really kind and caring friend. I felt happy and at ease with him, except that he always wanted to be talking. I learned then that it’s really hard for me to be around someone that always wants to talk 24/7. But I still loved Tom Tom and overall am so appreciative of his friendship and the time together.
When we all reunited in Huanchaco, we were starting to kind of find a groove, since we all like to surf, but still it felt like we never fully found our groove there. We were living different lives in Huanchaco too - Janick with his girl that we didn’t like, Shirley with her friends she already made since she arrived a week before, and me and Tom Tom more or less just chilling together. It was alright, but honestly still not the best time somehow. And something about Peruvian culture and weather. It was cold and cloudy there, and I think that coupled with the Peruvian culture that I already didn’t find hugely interesting or fun, made for just an overall not that inviting environment there.
Afterwards, we went to Chicama, home of the longest left wave in the world. And it was here that we all finally started having some fun together. We were there for a few days and it was probably the place that we all felt the most at home and liked the most. But when we had decided to leave, it was here that Janick started having some more existential questions for himself. He wasn’t sure that we was ready to leave, but came with us anyway. And he was in a phase of questioning everything in his life and not feeling particularly centered. And I really felt for the poor guy. I am no stranger to phases of constant internal conflict and feel like I can really feel the pain of someone going through that same phase. And so after a few days in Chiclayo, we all said and hugged goodbye, not knowing when we might see each other again. Shirley and I went back to Guatemala together, myself planning to pay a short visit back there while connecting to Mexico, and Shirley to pay a short visit before returning back home. I gave Tom Tom a sad hug goodbye, having shared such good times and closeness and memories together. We had hoped to see each other again in Mexico, but weren’t entirely sure. And Janick, I knew it would probably be a while before I hopefully saw him again, somewhere in the world. And so a sad goodbye to all it was.
Mexico, June 2024
After a short visit back to Guatemala, which I was so happy about as I saw everyone I knew and loved back there, I went off to Mexico and met up with Tom Tom for our last few weeks of our adventures together. We spent 2 weeks together, one in Mexico City and one in Guanajuato. It was a really nice 2 weeks together and perfect ending to my entire 7 month adventure through Latin America.
Tom Tom and I get along so easily and well, that he was a great travel companion for that time. I like to go slower and really sit down to just enjoy places, and he likes to go fast and see, see, see things. And together, we made a good balance together. One thing that also brings me great joy is pushing people outside of their comfort zones and teaching them to enjoy new things. With this trip, I suggested we go to Guanajuato, a small colorful city in Mexico that a friend of mine whose travel opinions I trust, really loved. Normally he would’ve skipped it since it’s a smaller town with technically not much to do, but he happily joined and it ended up being one of his favorite parts of the trip. Maybe even liking it more than Mexico City! I was so happy to have been able to show him a place he wouldn’t have otherwise discovered on his own, and for him to really like it. Things like this really bring me so much joy.
San Diego, June - July 2024
And so I went back home because our landlord had previously told us we needed to move out. 2 days before flying out though, she had texted us that the new tenant backed out and we could stay longer if we’d like. And so I flew home for nothing really, but mentally I was ready to be back anyway. To be in a familiar place, around friends, in my cozy apartment, and to just take a break from it all.
I initially had wanted to spend just 1 month back home but had a hard time finding another subleaser, and it ended up being 2 months back home in SD. There were parts of that summer at home that I really enjoyed. One was getting back into my routine of exercise, cooking, and eating well. Taking walks at the beach. Meditating. Watching TV on the couch cozied up in my corner. Binging Top Chef with Alex. Seeing friends again. Spending quality time with friends.
But there were also parts I really struggled with. Money being the main one. It was so expensive to live at home, especially without an income and coming towards the end of my savings. And everyday I stressed and I struggled with this. I also struggled with not having a purpose at home. Not really having anything that I was working towards. Sure I had some projects I enjoyed working on, like this blog, but not enough to really give me full-time fulfillment. And I tried to look for temporary jobs and think of random new work ideas like becoming a surf instructor, but none of these really could happen.
And so the 2 months at home were with mixed feelings. On one hand, I was so grateful to be with my friends again in a place I love, and be reminded of why I want to call San Diego home. On the other hand, I was stressed and didn’t feel quite right, felt like I was in limbo and in just not quite the right place.
And then there was Alfredo. A love that as I write this in January 2025, feels like a fleeting memory, though at the time, I was was sure about it as I had ever been about anything. Alfredo was a guy I met in Guatemala, but nothing came to fruition with him until we met again when I was back home in San Diego these months. He happened to be visiting his family in LA and asked me to meet up, and though I went into it with absolutely no expectations, I came out of it feeling like I could have met the person I would marry.
We spent 3 days together that first week we met, visiting each other between LA and SD, then he went back home to Guatemala. And with feelings so strong from those 3 days, he came back to visit me for a weekend a few weeks later. It was such a lovely 2 days together, where everything felt easy, relaxed, fun, and just perfect. I felt simply relaxed around him, like my nervous system just settled. I felt a safety and a security around him. And it was at the end of this weekend that we talked about how we really wanted to try with each other, that each other were people that we could see things working with.
But, I already had plans to go travel Asia for 3-4 months, leaving in a few weeks.
We said I would go to Asia and live out those dreams fully, and when I came back, we would see. To be honest, I left for Asia fully convinced I would come back and give this a real go with him. I still remember those intense feelings and being so sure that this could very possibly be the person I end up with. I remember even telling my friends that I think there’s a good chance that if we do come together once I get back, we will probably get married. But, 3-4 months abroad is a long time and while I don’t picture anything really happening, anything could happen.
And did things happen.
Indonesia, August - November 2024
Java, Bali, Lombok – August, September
Indonesia was really a crazy whirlwind of an experience. And as I write this in January and recall it vividly, I honestly want to cry a little bit. Indonesia started out for me with a weird mood. I really missed Alfredo and was part in the moment enjoying the time, part wanting to be back home with him. It didn’t feel like it did when I set out on the first part of my trip to Latin America, where I felt totally free not only in whatever I was doing, but also in my heart. This time, my heart felt split.
At some point a couple weeks in, I felt like I finally settled into the life of a long-term traveler again, and I began to miss Alfredo less. I also started to have a series of hookups, something I had never really been that into before, but somehow just kept falling into my lap time and time again in Indonesia. Really, I’m not sure what it was about this trip that really brought so many people into my life this way! At first I thought maybe it wasn’t the best thing for me to be doing, but then I thought, you know what? Fuck it. Why think so hard about it and instead just do what feels right in the moment and just embrace it.
And so after 1 month of traveling, I was honestly tired. While I normally don’t like to backpack in the typical of way of moving from place to place every few days, seeing the things people typically, I knew that’s the type of adventure I signed up for in Indonesia. But after 1 month, I felt like I had had enough and needed a bit of a break. I arrived in Kuta, Lombok, a place people had told me I would love, and I just desperately hoped that they were right. And, it turns out they were.
Kuta ended up being the perfect little home for me for what turned out to be a month. It was a chill beach town, with more like-minded people to myself compared to other travelers I had met in Bali and Java. It had such a laidback and good vibe, and it was a town with surf! An environment I realized I always find my kind of people at.
Kuta was special not only because it was a place I really liked and a place I really needed at the time, but also because it was the place that I met Max. I arrived in Kuta exhausted from everything and ready to take a break from boys after all my recent hookups, and really hadn’t expected or been looking to meet anyone there. But I met Max. And at first Max and I were friends, but after a few days of friendship, our vibe eventually evolved. I still remember the first night together after a night out with all of our friends at Surfer’s Bar, and just how good that feeling is when you first get together with someone.
What was special about both of us was that we were both traveling with no plan in mind, and with an indefinite end in sight. Something pretty rare to find in people, even amongst backpackers. And so after the rest of our friends left after a week, we went for a weekend trip ourselves to a nearby jungle town of Tetebatu. The 3 day trip, ended up turning into a 5 day trip! Traveling together, even for just these few days, already felt like a dream to me. I had long dreamed of having a partner who could be a good travel buddy for me, someone I got along effortlessly with, that we had the same ideas of how we wanted to see and experience life, how we wanted to adventure, how we just wanted to be. And Max and I had the exact same ideas about these. I realized quickly into our trip how on the same page we were about things, and how easy it was to make decisions since we were always thinking the same thing. I felt so easy with him during this time already. Like how we could be in silence and enjoy each other’s quiet company, like how we could always be on the same page about anything that came up, like how we just enjoyed the same types of things as each other like motor and adventure sports and local street food.
After that weekend, I really felt stuck between Alfredo and Max. I had felt so sure about Alfredo’s love and so confident in it being able to actually work out between us. But I also felt like I had such a good time with Max, and that that time was real and right now, and that I wanted to enjoy that to whatever extent. I think from the beginning though, there was always a little hesitation inside me about Max, and I’m not sure how much of that had to do with also having Alfredo in my mind.
After that weekend in Tetebatu, we spent one more week back in Kuta. And it was in this week, that things started becoming not so good between us. Even as I write this after we broke up 4 months later, some of the things that came to bother me later on, perhaps were already signs there in the beginning. Though we didn’t have the same initial problems we had at the beginning, one theme that was relatively recurring, was a bit of his selfishness, or his constant expression of his needs without as much concern for mine.
So after we struggled for a few days back in Kuta, we decided we needed our own space and that it was best to part ways. We would each go on our own adventures that we had already planned, and we would see how we feel and if we would want to meet up again.
Fast forward 3 weeks, and we decided that we did in fact want to meet up again. We both really love off-the-beaten path adventures and had wanted to travel the local Indonesian island of Sulawesi, a place very few travelers visit, and so it was perfect to travel together. So 3 weeks later, I hopped on a flight and he hopped on a ferry, and we met back up in Makassar, in the south of Sulawesi.
Sulawesi – October, November
Sulawesi was honestly an amazing time. It’s an adventure I’ve long, long dreamt of having with someone. Going somewhere off-the-beaten path, local, without much of a plan, and just seeing what we find and figuring it out. Making our own adventure. And, doing all this with someone that sees the world the same way I do, has the same ideas for travel and life, someone I can just be easy with. And Max was all of these things.
We started out thinking we’d spend maybe one month in Sulawesi, give or take. In the end, we spent 7 weeks, only leaving because my visa was running out, otherwise we easily could’ve spent more. In the south, we were really in a good groove. We found our own paradises, had such adventures, went places no one went to, and were able to enjoy the style and pace of travel that we both enjoyed most. Selayar, an island off of South Sulawesi, was probably both of our favorite memories of Sulawesi. It was here that we had the most adventures, local experiences, and found undiscovered paradises. It was here that we had no worries between us. No worries of time, money, stresses, and things just worked out. It was here that it really felt like we had our own little version of a honeymoon.
As we made our way north through the island, it was interesting to experience how our experiences would change. Our dynamic itself, our moods, our entire experiences of the whole thing. As I reflect on the entire 2 months in Sulawesi, I really can see our whole story and how our relationship unfolds.
I remember being in Tana Toraja, our first stop as we headed north of Makassar, and it still feeling like we were getting to know each other and growing closer and closer. I remember it was the first time he told me in detail about his sister and his relationship with her and his mom. We would later talk about these relationships a lot and easily, but it was then that I remember that he really opened up about them for the first time.
Then in the Togeans we had perhaps our first “fight”. And he responded so badly. And it was then that I learned how bad he was with words and conflict resolution, and this would become more and more evident in the next month together. But even though he was bad at communicating and resolving conflict and somehow just never came up with the right words, he was patient, cared about my feelings, and wanted to resolve it. And so I credit him for that, that at least he cared and he showed it. He was just bad at the resolving things part and the knowing how to make someone feel better.
After our first fight though, one of the things we talked about was that sometimes wished he was more present with me. That in some moments I just wanted to stand there and give him a hug and just be doing and thinking nothing, just being there, with him. And in those moments sometimes he’d brush me off for just a quick hug, not really seeming absorbed or content in the moment, the way I was and wanted him to equally be.
He then opened up about how he knows, that he can tell that he’s not as in the moment with me sometimes, and it’s because there are some things that have been stressing him out in his life that are all coming to a head and he can’t really ignore anymore. That he had a very rough year and those things have recently all started coming to his head again. And he opened up to me about the rough year, and what had been consuming his mind, and that it’s hard to always be present when even if he isn’t actively thinking about these things, they are always in the back of his mind. But that he wanted to be and would try. It was a start that he at least shared this with me, so that I could know what was going on and be more understanding of him as well. He thanked me for listening, and I thanked him for sharing.
In the Togeans, we spent a lot of hours a day just talking about things and talking about nothing at all, just laying there and enjoying being right on the beach in paradise. But one of the memorable conversations was about kids and family and values. I feel like when you have a conversation about kids with someone that you’re dating, it oftentimes can feel like a high pressure conversation. But somehow with us, it didn’t. I don’t know if it was because of casual nature of our relationship, that we knew we didn’t need to worry about the kid conversation with each other yet, or what. But we both fully openly talked about what our thoughts were on kids and how we wanted to raise them and how we wanted to be in a family and what kinds of values we have and would want to impart. And it was kind of beautiful that we were 100% on the same page. It was beautiful not only that we agreed 100% on everything, but that somehow, I just naturally knew that we would. We were already so similar in so many ways, especially in the ways we saw life, and I wasn’t at all surprised that we saw this the same way as well.
In North Sulawesi, we had some tougher times. We had another fight in Gorontolo, then in Tumbak, and then in Bunaken. Honestly in retrospect, I can’t tell why we had all of these fights. But I do think one consistent factor in all of them, was they were all harder to resolve than they should have been, due to his poor communication during conflict. In Gorontolo I got upset because of how he acted in a way that made me feel really unloved, or unseen, or like he just didn’t get what I needed in a moment. Then in Tumbak because he lost his patience and acted in a way that was really uncool and unnecessary.
Then in Bunaken there wasn’t a fight persay, but I had just realized I had been feeling a bit down over the last week or two from all of these fights and not really feeling totally seen and understood, despite having resolved them in the moment. In Bunaken we had a big heart to heart about everything on our minds and on our hearts and honestly, cried our eyes out a little bit. I told him that something was feeling missing to me, that I felt like I wasn’t feeling as close or connected or completely seen by him in the way that I wanted to. And it was here that he told me more about the ending of his past relationship and how broken his heart was from it, and how he didn’t feel ready to have that kind of relationship again. And so perhaps he was holding back a bit and that me feeling less than 100% from him was accurate.
It was in Bunaken that we cried together, both mourning a future ending of our relationship, but also rejoicing in how perfect this time was together. That we couldn’t have imagined any better partner to have done it with. It was beautiful and also emotionally painful that night. It was also this night that he finally saw that he needed to work on his communication skills in conflict. He finally admitted for the first time to not being the best at it and that he needed to work on it. I was glad to see that at least he saw it now. Because it’s a long path to becoming better at it, but it requires at least understanding it first. And I was so glad to see that he at least got that part now.
We left Sulawesi feeling pretty happy with each other. Despite an eventual end to our relationship, we decided that we still wanted to do our next country, Taiwan, together as planned. But first we needed a break from traveling and just to settle down for a week and work on the things that we wanted to work on. And so onwards we went to Malaysia first. A week in Kota Kinabalu where we would get a little apartment for the week and just settle down.
Aside from my reflections with Max, I also learned more and more about my travel style in these 2 months in Sulawesi. The beginning felt so free. We could go wherever, do whatever, and not have to worry about any sort of time limit. But towards the halfway point, when we did have an end in sight (due to my expiring visa), we started having to stress about time and planning out our time and route more, instead of purely being able to do what we felt like in the moment. I realized that I really don’t like having this pressure-bound time limit. That being able to be fully, or at least mostly, free, is a big part of what makes me enjoy travel. We started having to somewhat rush through things, or think about planning out the number of days we were going to do in each place, and making sure it made sense with our flight out. Instead of just going and seeing and doing whatever we felt like. I learned that this freedom, both because you can do whatever you want but also because it lets you find so much more of an adventure, is so nice to me. And I want to keep it more like that for all my future travels.